Pre-Surgery Update

The past few days leading up to my surgery have been filled with lots of visiting as three of my siblings and two nieces came down from Edmonton. I feel so happy and blessed to be surrounded by so much family during such a difficult and life-changing time for us. 

I finally met my niece Chloe

This distraction was so very good. The past number of weeks have honestly felt more than we could bear and we thank those who have stepped in to help us carry this burden. It seems that battling this disease and so much pain for nearly three years now (and all the traumatic experiences that came along with it) has taken a major toll on my mind, heart, and spirit and I've been experiencing circumstantial depression and some post-traumatic-stress that at times has been causing intense anxiety. Having to stop my herbal antibiotics for my Lyme treatment in preparation for surgery has also kicked me HARD and has not helped this situation. Since the infections are currently going mostly untreated the Lyme has been having a hay day. A myriad of symptoms have returned but the worst of them was I had a couple weeks where my knees in particular were so brutally sore. I would try to distract myself from the pain until it got to a level I just couldn't anymore, and then I just laid on the floor with ice packs on them and cried. They would throb, burn, and ache and prescription pain medication wouldn't even touch it. Lyme is a relentless unforgiving nasty bacteria. No mercy does it show in intensity, and there's no place it won't invade in your body. I've been able to continue using my Rife machine that my dear Oma gave me (I love you Oma!) and since increasing my time using that my knee pain reduced significantly! Dare I say on a scale of 1-10 my knee pain is currently down to a 2! I thank God for giving me this relief.

Because of all of this along with the emotional weight of my hysterectomy date approaching my GP has put me on a light sedative for the two weeks surrounding my operation. This has relaxed my body and put me in a bit of a daze but this has helped me immensely. Emotionally it has somewhat "numbed" me and it has reduced my anxiety and helped me sleep again; the past several nights I've been sleeping so well for eight hours straight every night so deeply that when I wake up it takes me a while to remember what day of the week it is or what is happening that day!!! 

I'm thankful that at least I'm going into this surgery well-slept and we're hoping I'll be able to resume my Lyme treatment within a week post-surgery. 

Quality time with family the past few days, along with the help, listening ears, and love from some friends has helped "fill my bucket" back up a bit (as my son Lucas likes to put it). He explained an analogy to me a number of weeks ago after asking me on a particularly bad day if someone did something or if something bad happened that emptied out my bucket. He says everyone has an invisible water bucket that when not so nice things happen it takes from it and that makes you sad, and sometimes so many bad things happen that your bucket empties right out. But when people do or say nice, thoughtful, loving things for you it fills your bucket back up; he says even a smile can put a drop in someone's bucket. He also explained in awe and wonder that when you do something to fill someone else's bucket it also fills up your own at the same time! He said a teacher at school explained this analogy to him so I don't know if he repeated it exactly the way it was explained to him (he's only 7), but regardless, he's a wise, sweet boy with a big heart. So thank you to whoever shared that with Lucas, and for those who have helped  "fill my bucket" back up a little bit in various ways these past weeks. ❤

After my surgery tomorrow I'll probably be feeling pretty groggy and out of it for a few days so Kyle will probably update my blog at some point to let anyone know who's wondering how it went. Once he updates it will also be linked to our Facebook profiles.

A text a friend shared with me today:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God". Isaiah 43