My Mom is lending us a kids computer that only has games on it (no internet), it was given to her when the library she works at decided to not use them anymore. The boys love it, especially because it's touch screen;) It has been very useful in keeping them occupied already. Thank you Mom!
What especially made February difficult was the time of year it is. It's nearing the time that I got sick two years ago (March and April '14) so it is a bold reminder that another year has gone by without getting better. I feel like I will have to watch life keep going and my kids grow up from the view of my bed and couch. I am trying not to sound too depressing, but I want to be honest. I miss my life. I miss being able to function and do things like a typical wife and mother can. My brain is so foggy and exhausted that even throwing the simplest of things that you probably never think twice about into my already just barely able to handle days is over the top for me. Lucas is also noticing that I am not able to do things that other Mom's can and that's hard for both of us. We are so thankful for all the extra help and support we have from all of you and for stepping in when I am not able to! I am also very blessed to have such an understanding and supportive husband who takes on as much of this for me as he can. As evenings are usually my worst time of day I am often in bed right after supper and he takes care of home reading, memory work, and anything else that needs to be done. When he works late or is away during bedtime for the kids it becomes very stressful for me. I so miss my energy and clear mind! Month after month of this... quickly becoming year after year.. this is hard for me to accept. It's hard to understand why I would have been given a husband and kids only to have my ability to function like a typical wife and mother taken away. We continue to place our trust in the Lord and in his plan for our life.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9The fact that February is the month of my birthday was also weighing pretty heavily on me, I wasn't particularly excited about celebrating this year as it is another reminder of another year gone by being sick. The couple weeks before were harder than the day though and I had a good day. It was a Sunday and I spent the morning resting and listening to the church service via live feed and then tried to push through and go to church in the afternoon. Since going to church makes me very tired this is not possible as much as I'd like, but I was determined not to spend the whole day on the couch! Thank you to all for the birthday wishes, prayers, encouragement, cards, messages, calls, and texts! And thank you for all forms of encouragement in the past year, it has meant a lot to me. I have kept all the cards and notes and on hard days I sometimes go through the box and read through them again ...
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." 1 Thess 5:11
On a more positive note, now that I have mostly recovered from my cold I am slowly noticing slight improvement in regards to my adrenals again. I am even sleeping better! Sometimes even able to nap! I was able to go for my five-minute walk again today in this beautiful sunshine for the first time in two weeks. Praise God for those blessings.
To end this off, I came across this while flipping through the new Our Daily Bread devotional today and it really encouraged me so I thought I would share it here. You might have to click on it to see it clearer.
